Parental Alienation as a Form of Domestic Violence

Introduction

Parental alienation is a highly contested yet increasingly recognised phenomenon within family sociology and social psychology. It refers to a process in which one parent systematically manipulates a child to reject, fear, or distance themselves from the other parent, despite the absence of legitimate reasons for doing so. Traditionally, it has been treated as a matter of family conflict or custody dispute. However, more contemporary sociological perspectives interpret parental alienation as a form of domestic violence—specifically, a non-physical but deeply coercive tactic of control and domination. By framing parental alienation through the lens of domestic violence, we can uncover the structural dynamics of power, the sociocultural context in which it occurs, and its profound consequences for both children and the alienated parent.

This article expands upon the sociological dimensions of parental alienation, situating it within frameworks of coercive control, gendered power relations, and institutional responses. By doing so, it aims to provide undergraduate students with an accessible yet critical exploration of how parental alienation can be conceptualised as a form of domestic violence.

Understanding Domestic Violence Beyond the Physical

Domestic violence is commonly associated with physical abuse. Yet sociologists, drawing on feminist theories, symbolic interactionism, and coercive control frameworks, highlight that domestic violence extends far beyond bodily harm. It encompasses a spectrum of practices designed to dominate, isolate, and psychologically control another individual.

Forms of domestic violence include:

• Physical abuse: direct bodily harm.
• Psychological and emotional abuse: manipulation, gaslighting, humiliation.
• Economic abuse: restricting financial autonomy and independence.
• Coercive control: persistent strategies that restrict freedom, undermine autonomy, and erode self-esteem.

Parental alienation aligns most clearly with psychological abuse and coercive control. It weaponises the parent-child relationship to exert domination over the targeted parent, while simultaneously embedding patterns of fear and mistrust within the child. In sociological terms, this is a form of structural violence—violence enacted not only through physical means but through systemic erosion of identity, belonging, and autonomy.

The Dynamics of Parental Alienation

Parental alienation typically arises in high-conflict separations or divorces, particularly where one parent seeks to dominate post-separation family arrangements. The alienating parent manipulates the child’s perception of the other parent, often by emphasising their flaws, exaggerating conflicts, or outright fabricating narratives. This process reshapes the family’s symbolic order by redefining who is perceived as trustworthy, loving, or dangerous.

Key dynamics include:

• Narrative control: the alienating parent constructs a reality in which the other parent is dangerous, neglectful, or unworthy of love.
• Loyalty conflict: the child is pressured to prove loyalty by siding with the alienating parent, often at the cost of rejecting the other parent entirely.
• Isolation tactics: restricting communication or visitation with the alienated parent, creating physical and symbolic distance.
• Emotional manipulation: instilling guilt or fear if the child expresses affection for the targeted parent.

These tactics mirror patterns seen in coercive domestic violence. Just as abusive partners isolate victims from friends and family, alienating parents sever the child’s emotional and social bond with the other parent. Through this process, the alienating parent exerts both direct control over the child and indirect control over the alienated parent.

Parental Alienation as Coercive Control

Sociological theories of coercive control, often associated with feminist criminology, provide a powerful lens for analysing parental alienation. Coercive control involves tactics of intimidation, surveillance, restriction, and manipulation that reduce the autonomy of victims. It is cumulative, meaning its impact grows over time, eroding victims’ sense of self and freedom.

In the case of parental alienation:

• The child becomes both the object and the instrument of control. The alienating parent exerts power by shaping the child’s emotions and behaviours, while simultaneously using the child as a weapon against the targeted parent.
• The alienated parent experiences systemic disempowerment. Their parental authority, emotional bond, and social legitimacy are eroded, leaving them marginalised within the family structure.
• The family unit becomes a site of domination. The alienating parent monopolises the child’s loyalty, framing the other parent as an outsider or intruder.

When examined through this framework, parental alienation is not merely a personal grievance. It is a patterned, intentional, and power-driven process that meets the sociological criteria of domestic violence.

The Sociological Context